Pleasing Men.

The younger I was, the more I was isolated:


Insolated by mysterious talent, playing by myself, pleasing myself, caring for myself, entertaining self, the younger I was, the more I was inside my own head, unaware of the world, minding my own business, since I was always smiling, always busy, never bored, grr.




The younger I was, the more it seems that I didn't care.


The older I get, the more I hesitate.


Specifically, I will tell you that, the older I get, the more I mix it up, the more I hang out nwith a wide variety of people.



I mean, if I hang out with one group, then the other group gets mad. In that case, I feel so unsure who I should please most, how can I be all things to all people?


This is true with church, especially. If I go out and visit a church, especially one that the other church knows nothing about, or is against, that just creates like conflict.






This is what is on my mind.

I mean, grr, why can't I hang out with everybody?



I just want to be led, I want to go from place to place, as needed, in a tent, not literally, but I just want to do my damage on the earth, my skill, my joy, spread it, without being restrain by perception, by jealousy, by opinion, from the fear of men, so to speak.