Food Stamps Hell

I was smiling when I was born, said my mom. However, yesterday, my dad started yelling at me. Our hispanic girl friend, I mean, some girl, delivered us a cat for Deb, oh wait, two black female kittens, actually. The kittens pulled off the sheet to some small table, but dad thought I did that. I became mad and upset, inside my head. I just stood my ground like as if I was Jesus being persecuted. If you cannot imagine this, or if you do not believe that I was doing the right thing, then I do not blame you. I did not even say anything to my dad but he threw a chair at me which almost knocked me over. Plus, he came right at me, like a bull, and almost shoved me towards the sharp Steinway & Sons piano that was made in 1925. My dad yelled for an hour or more, last night. Then he was yelling at Deb, even through she was mad at him for drinking all day, for not coming home at 4pm, for not working, for not spending time with her and all. My heart raced as I went to sleep last night. I kept on thinking about how dumb I was for getting back into the ghetto, for living at home with the devil. Last night, I just felt hate for the place, for Deb, for dad, for myself, for just being in such a hole. Never mind if you do not know that WYI is a Bible retreat, but several weeks ago, at the end of camp, as I was at that WYI, I was crying mainly because I had this feeling that I would be falling back into this hole. And I actually was crying for all of WYI and nobody knew why, nobody, and I did not want to tell anybody how I was feeling. The hole is really all about me being in such an invisible hell. Nobody knows how bad it is to live their but I do sure have respect for my mom would use to live through that for 28 years in a row. Today, I finished my job resume. Tommorrow, I should be able to head off to Portland to find a job, a life, freedom from such hell. Speaking of hell, I just could not stand it last night, when my dad was yelling at me for playing the paino. And he yelled at me for not getting food stamps.