I was going to go to Long Beach, California, but I blew it. Long story. And my uncle died. I would say more. Well, first, I need to forgive myself, my sister says. And I do believe all this. And I am heart broken and all. And I do have reasons for why I blew it. I do have excuses to why I did what I did or for why I do what I do. And I can believe that they are right. And I could talk about how I didn't actually blew it. I could talk about my hidden agendas, if I have any. Or I talk about how I act like a teacher to others, and therefore, I feel that I can do things that others can't to teach them things. I mean, again, these are excuses, or are they reasons? I am in the presence of my family, right now. I am in Astoria, Oregon, in Red Lion Inn, and we are having a reunion. And I am at a lost of words. I was at WYI, a Bible retreat for The Salvation Army, but then my mom and her boyfriend picked me up last night, the day before the last. I am at the point of brokeness. I have more to say but I need to go take a walk with my sisters right now. I feel so many things. And I want to get better. And I feel that people don't understand what is going on. I feel that I have burnt bridges. But it is not the end of the world. Go take a walk.