I am telling myself that I could be in California. I do not even have to tell you what I would be doing there. You can skip those details. I could have rode back with this guy. Actually, my sister, Crystal, has a plane ticket that I could use to get there. I have an uncle near Long Beach, CA, anyways, who have four adult children in their home, I believe, three bedrooms, but I would so like sleep on the floor until I found a better place. Hey, if you are reading this, then you can note that I am just thinking to myself. In other words, I am quite confused and upset and heart broken, mostly in concern to me.

It still does not make sense. I am not sure what I am doing at all. I have thought about suicide, seriously. Remember that I do not plan on committing suicide. But I have been thinking about it. I tell myself to stop thinking about that. And go on and make a difference in this world. And alongside all of that is the subject of love, of girls, of even marriage. I would almost die to get married. But I knew an amazing girl once, who was beautiful. But I accidentally called her ugly and ruined my friendship with her. I am now sick of all this love crap. Yeah! Can a girl get hurt by me calling her ugly? I know that they can now. It is too late now. They tell me to move on and find another girl. But I am too broken to merely move on to another girl. I do not date girls, anyways, by the way. I am not even dating girls. You cannot go off and marry me off to just anybody. And right now, it is so weird. And my parents were divorced in the seventies to their first spouses, and are so again to each other, and it is sick to see them date other people or live with them. I am so sick of this weird ewwy sick fake love. Get me away from all that. Give me a real dinner!




Give me a real dinner!