FAITHoFACT.

2008.3.2.m.
FAITHoFACT.
O.2008.3.3.m.5ahj.L4.ml.
L.2008.3.3.m.5ahj.L4.ml.
How in the world can I have faith through or even over the facts of the horrors of this world? I cannot even dare admit that I could. But I always want to have the facts. The older I get, the more I put away childish things like faith. Not that faith can't be bad. I mean it is bad to have faith in the wrong thing. Ezpecially when the facts say so. But facts are not all here. And somehow faith must be the first instinct or door to life and destiny. But you can get mad at these words. I know that I have got mad at these words during most of my life. And I don't want to believe these words at all. But somehow I have been told to rely on not my own understanding. I am not to lean on any of that. That is not my base or my root. My root needs to go beyond my weak understanding of life and everything because I cannot even comprehend all the facts. And if I had the facts then I would feel obligated to love, to do right, out of duty or something bad. I would somehow understand all things and all mysteries and everything. And I would know that I would have to love and live and do best and maybe jump on trampolines or dive in deep into the ocean for buried treasures or wonder. But there would be no love in that. Because love needs mystery. And love needs faith. And love needs reliance on something bigger than yourself. Love needs some kind of trust in ideas that are bigger than self and better and things that are not even explainable. If you know everything then please hit me with a brick or write to me or shoot me. And get me to somehow stop with trusting in invisible forces.