Wednesday, April 2, 2008
0001: LISTEN BUT LOVE LIFE
o.2008.4.2.W.10a.girl's side. L.7phj.Settlement.
We were reviewing our memorized verses. But I was joking with Jess (kicking her legs, giggling, with no respect, with no attention to K or Corey). And that distracted K. I made a fool of myself, this morning. I mean, no surprise. If you know me, then you know that I have been a clown (many times in my life). And this morning, there were no excuses. And my life is full of mistakes. My life is full of excuses. But I must ask for help from you know who. I must ask for help from the best, and from those around me. I must remember that everything has consequences. But I am so dumb, sometimes. So forgetful. So lost. So confused. So demented. So depressing. I hurt other people. I am so blind. I am so awful. So arogant. So ignorant. But so guilty. I can say sorry, but I must still be careful. Anybody can say sorry. But I need to also change, repent, and transform myself into a butterfly. I must aquire help from the One of destiny. You know? I must struggle. I must remember who I am becoming (only because of you know what). I must remember what I can do. Because I am not always horrible. I am not always a disaster. I am not always crazy. I am not always in need of deordeant. I am not always in need of soap for my mouth. I am not always in need of a map. I will not always get lost. And you will not always get lost. And you will not always lose your mind, when y ou are around me, or when you call me, or talk to me, or write to me, or look at me, or whatever. You will not die if you think of me. Because I am not a monster. I can be a monster. I was born a monster. We were all born like slime. But there is hope. I can sit up strait. I can give people respect. I can listen to people. I can give a year out of my life to serve others. I can love my enemies. I can do the impossible. I can even not get lost (because it si tough to find Ala Moana while on Bus A). There is still hope. There is still a job for me to do. I could put myself down, but I cannot stay down. I must still press onward to the mark of the high calling. And you better know why. And there is nothing better. I mean, I need to be who I need to be. I need to say hi to people. I need to smile. I need to encourage others. I need to be all that I can be. I need to wait but live life. I need to listen but love life. I just need to. Just do it. Because it is good to the last drop. I need to listen and open my eyes. I need to be open to opportunities. And I must be an example. I must learn to love life. But grown-ups forget how to love life. Kids can smile and eat ice-cream. And I use to love life. But I hate growing up. I think that I am forgetting how to love life. I am becoming a monster, again. I must pray for a renewal of a Peter Pan spirit (but in a good way). I do not want to be closed minded. I do not want to be so out of shape. I want the joy of the Lord to be my strength. I want the fear of Him to be the beginning of wisdom. I mean, don't get me wrong. I do not want to be crazy like a kid anymore. I mean, I do not want to be crazy all the time. I mean, I want to be balanced. And what is better than that? I mean, I must not be too boring, either. Most robots...I mean, most adults are robots. Sorry. No offense. But I am slowly becoming a monsterous robot. Not an angelic servant. I am losing my unique joy and purpose for life. I am hoping off the path of destiny. I am running and hiding. I am avoiding special heart transplant. I need to go expect the worse but accept the best. I need to remind myself of that daily. And I need to really wait but live life. I need to get prepared for the future. I need to wait for the future. I must wait for the future that I will live. But I must also live in the present reality of today. If I am here then I need to be here. Aint nothing better. And I need to listen but love life. I learned that today.
LISTEN BUT LOVE LIFE
This morning, we were studying as a team, like we do on almost every weekday morning. This school-year, we usually go workout by Waikiki, by the Zoo, by this bus stop (with homeless people sleeping in the bus-shelter part). Back in January, I was upset. Why do we workout here? Why do we waste our gas to venture to some random part of Honolulu (of Oahu)? But I did not realize that it is magical. I mean, I could still protest about it. But it not bad. I think. You can argue with this. You could think that Revolution Hawaii is a waste, or at least the workout would be. Yeah? But I don't have time to argue. I love arguing. I always have time to argue. But instead, let us learn to love life. Yeah. Listen. Open your eyes. Stop running and hiding. Look for the rainbows. Look for the softer side of things.
Expect The Worse But Accept The Best!
And this morning, K spunned me in a swing. yeah. I have not done that in years. And I swung without moving my legs. And I hopped out. And rolled on the ground. And we had fun. And I was giggling and loving life. I have not really laughed in a long time. Laughing is a healing medicine.
But I disgraced my team, this morning.
I need to stop being crazy at the wrong times.
Because it is ok to have fun during swing time, during fun time.
But it is not ok to do so during serious-times.
And that is my blog. I am going to get off now. I am going to talk to the youth. Because I love that. And you need to go do something too. Even if that means school work. Or work. Or mopping the floor. Even if it is a little thing. Even if you do not think that you are important. You are. And you can make a difference. If I can mess up but still have hope then so can you. You can. Sorry but really. And I believe in you. Even if I do not know you.
And reread the ideas within the purple letters, above.
Jo Arnold
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1 comment:
I think you expect the best from yourself and your life!
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